Loyalty, Virtue, and Subtext
by VixenRaign
Summary: Post 'Chosen' after Slaying Buffy and Faith sit down to watch some Law & Order... what else is on at that hour? Buffy and Faith preslash. Read warnings, please.


Title; "**Loyalty, Virtue, and Subtext**"

**Author**: _VixenRaign_

**Rating**: PG-13

**Disclaimer**: I do not own **Buffy the Vampire Slayer** **or Law & Order**; all copyrighted property belongs to Joss Whedon and Dick Wolf, respectively. No profit is being made and no infringement is intended.

**Archive**: ask; and link me, baby – link me!

**Spoilers**: **BtVS** through Chosen, and bits of **Law & Order** and **SVU** (years old, and nothing horrible)

**Feedback**: dialogue of subtext, fanfiction, sobriety, addiction, implied sexual situations between two women, and discussion of the hotties of the **Law & Order** franchise. Don't think too deeply on this one guys, this is a culmination of a great deal of things that have been on my mind in the time it took to get my computer replaced after it died. I welcome any feedback, especially resoundingly negative; but know that there are elements therein that are personal.

"**Loyalty, Virtue, and Subtext**"

She felt oddly full. _Three yogurts could be surprisingly filling_, Buffy thought she headed out of the kitchen area and towards the open living room. She heard the sounds of the TV filtering along the echoing wooden hall. They had ended up in a huge old house in the Catskills that had belonged to a former Counsel member who'd died in the London-branch bombing before the fall of Sunnydale. The man had been very well taken care of, it seemed, as the house seemed to resemble the Xavier Manson from those X-Men moves that were such a hit until they seemingly stopped making them.

Faith was sitting in front of the huge liquid-crystal-plasma television they'd gotten as the centerpiece of their entertainment center. The large, wide leather couch that could comfortably seat five mini-slayers across made the usually large-in-attitude brunette sitting upon it look as though she were the size of a child, had it been an average-sized piece of furniture. It made Buffy laugh, catching Faith's attention.

"How come there's never anything on at this hour after Slaying besides infomercials, 900-number adds, C horror movies, and **Law & Order**?" the blonde vaulted the back of the couch and landed aptly next to her companion with a wide grin.

"**Law & Order**?" she asked excitedly, trying to snatch the overly-complex remote. "Where?" Faith tugged the bit of plastic back, scowling slightly.

"You like that show?" She asked, disbelieving. Buffy grinned, nodding, trying to change the channel while the other girl still held the remote. She slapped her hands away, typing in the number until the screen changed. She noticed the instant change in her company as soon as the voices changed. Through the corner of her eye she watched the look of anticipation as the familiar face of Jack McCoy, DA, spoke about whatever case he was working on in _this_ episode… Faith rolled her eyes. Then she noticed the way Buffy straightened up, almost unconsciously, as a new voice started talking.

Refocusing on the screen, she looked at the face of this new addition. Well, not new, in fact this episode was a couple years old, but the catalyst in this change in Buffy. She was slim, young, tall, with a deep gravely voice and a slight southern accent. She was very attractive. But that still didn't explain the blonde's reaction.

She watched, attention divided between her company and her company's fixation, watching both carefully. Apparently the character's name was Abbie Carmichael. And less then a minute after they'd changed the channel an awkwardly timed commercial break came, advertising the latest trinket from Radio Shack.

"So what was that all about?" Faith asked, only realizing that Buffy wasn't privy to her internal dialogue after Buffy looked to her, confused.

"Huh?" she grunted eloquently. Gotta love a girl with a silver tongue like that, Faith grinned. "I dunno," the blonde chuckled, "I've only seen as much as you have. Seems we came in on the ass end, if Abbie's already got it." Faith's eyebrows raised of her own accord, and at the blonde's noticing of this she tried to reign them back in. "… what?" she asked, almost defensive.

"Abbie?" Faith prodded, playfully, "You're on a first-name-basis with these fictional people?" Then the impossible happened. Buffy blushed. _Self-consciously_. Faith nodded slowly, suddenly getting an idea of what was going on here.

"She's my favorite character!" she laughed, "She almost never loses, so yeah – takes some of the unpredictability out of watching – but you know that if she loses it had to be fixed or it's going to be a particularly sad ending."

"You really like this show, don't you?" Faith asked, oddly surprised herself at the light awe in her voice at saying it. Buffy nodded, looking down into her lap before quickly looking back to the overly-bright and flashy Burger King commercial.

"It's a guilty pleasure, yeah." She nodded sagely, then looked at the brunette, "And can you blame me for the guilt; when I get grief like this for being a fan?" she threw back, a soft mix of hurt and defensive. Faith felt a bit embarrassed. But not much. She looked up to say something back, maybe even apologize, but then saw that he attention was back on the alluring young Lawyer as she started a new line of questioning on a witness.

Faith's attention returned to the screen as well, but somewhat reluctantly. She much rather watch the change of emotions on the face of her companion as her fictional-fixation relayed her closing argument. She tried to listen, tried to follow the line of logic this gorgeous woman was using to convince the jury, but had little care. True, she liked the show enough herself, but she was far more distracted and interested in the blonde's reactions to her.

Before she realized it the screen quietly went black and 'Dick Wolf' flashed on the screen before the remote was snatched from her distracted hands. Buffy was trying to figure out how to work the remote. The older Slayer hardly ever watched TV so she still had yet to learn how to properly operate the complex and extensive cable-system.

"Okay, come on… there's never just _one_ Law & Order on; they come in pairs..." she mumbled mangling the remote in her hands like an ape playing with a calculator. Faith chuckled at the shockingly accurate picture in her head. "… besides, I doubt there's an hour in the day when there isn't an episode on; I've even had days where there were two playing at once on different channels!" she laughed and finally punched the info-button.

"Ah!" she yelled triumphantly, "**SVU** is on! That one's my favorite." She took another few minutes trying to figure out how to actually to get to the aforementioned station, as Faith openly laughed at her. She glowered, but finally got it.

"I thought that Abbie person was your favorite?" Faith teased. Buffy shrugged, fiddling with the volume a bit.

"She is. But **SVU** is my favorite show over-all. I could never get into that **Criminal Intent** one… that one guy just knew too much about too many random things for it to be believable. Even _I_ couldn't suspend my belief that much, and I'm a Vampire Slayer!" she giggled.

"So why do you like **SVU** so much? All the cases are the same; someone gets raped, some hooker gets killed, transgender hate crimes, sexually abusive fraternity-hazing rites, they always seem the same."

"Why?" Buffy asked back, chuckling herself, "Does watching all these cops make you homesick?" she teased. Faith twisted in her seat, kicking Buffy's hip as she swung her feet up on the couch. The blonde laughed, kicking back, until it was the slayer-version of a playful girly-bitch-slapping fight. Finally Buffy called uncle after a swift, accidental kick between the legs. She crossed her legs wincing, embarrassed, but still laughing ruefully as the new episode started up on the TV.

Faith smiled, glad that the two of them could do little things like that now; that they were so close and comfortable with each other. It was nice to be so evenly matched with someone. When Faith had been younger, she'd always been very physical with people, both affectionately and in general, but after being called, she couldn't anymore… it would have ended in serious injury, and she'd succeeded a few time.

True, all the mini-slayers got their Slayer powers, but for some reason (for no _concrete_ reason they could find) none of them seemed up to par with Buffy and Faith. Not in strength, not in clarity or potency in secondary senses and instincts; and the passing of time didn't seem to be changing that.

A part of Faith was happy about that; that there was some undeniable connection and similarity between the two of them. But it also made her worry twice as much as might be consider normal for some who's 'just a friend'. Faith never wanted to feel as alone and isolated as she had for those nights Buffy had spent on the lam towards the fall of Sunnydale… before the blonde nursed her back to health. Faith smiled at the memory.

"So… you never answered my question." She asked as Buffy's focus returned to her at the commercial, "Why do you like **SVU**?" Buffy grinned and shrugged, though more to stretch her shoulders.

"That's just it. I like the main characters; their lives out-side of the cases. They seem more focused on the inter-office relationships in this show. I love the main couple, Detective Benson and her partner Detective Stabler."

"Dude, those two are involved?" Faith asked, kind of shocked, "I thought they didn't allow that among police?" Buffy laughed.

"Yeah, okay, so there's subtext a-plenty, but no. They're just partners - - in the sense that they work together!" she corrected quickly, "But I like their comroddery; their genuine friendship and care for each other. Also I feel like Elliot Stabler would be the kind of person I'd be lucky to have as a friend when I was older. Married, masculine, with four kids, and out-numbered in his house by his little girls who he loves more than anything… A guy who respects women and is fully aware of what they're capable of. Someone loyal and ethical; virtuous. I respect and admire that above all else."

Buffy felt Faith shift suddenly, sharply. As she turned to look at her she saw the expression on her face of offense, looking angry.

"You know, like you." At first the scowl on the brunette's face deepened, until she'd realized that there was no trace of malice or sarcasm in the other woman's tone. The blonde turned back to the screen, a look of slightly confusion marring her brow as she continued to watch the show. Buffy had said it, not realizing she'd meant it until the words passed her lips. Which kind of confused her. Faith wasn't virtuous! She had been anything but loyal; she'd betrayed Buffy more times than anyone in ways she had once thought unforgivable.

But she had meant it, and she realized that she _did_ believe it. She'd come back after all, didn't she? She'd changed, hadn't she? A great deal, in fact, especially after Sunnydale. She'd fallen in line, taken orders, and acted in a manor that she'd believed to be best for everyone… though somewhat misguided. She'd even nearly died, trying to keep the girls from walking into a situation she thought was hopeless. Hell, she didn't even drink anything caffeinated anymore!

"So is that guy – Elliot Stabler… is he your favorite on this show?" Faith asked, trying to gloss over the silence that had fallen since the quiet admission. Buffy shook her head, grinning that same grin again.

"Nah, Olivia, all the way. She's great; I love Benson, she's the best. Gotta love a lady-cop." Faith chuckled, honestly not sure if she could agree. Fully aware of the fact that Buffy was going to night school to get her criminal-justice papers. While the idea had abhorred the blonde in high-school, she'd finally realized that there were worse things. Especially in their fairly quiet suburban community, which was constantly clamoring for more police though they honestly weren't needed… they just felt safer knowing there was a surplus of security.

"So who do you like more? Olivia or Abbie?" Faith joked, trying to get back into that playful banter. The expression on the blonde's face at the suggestion became one of an almost… glazed nature. Like suddenly she'd sunken into a drug-induced fantasyland. Faith crooked an eyebrow, opening her mouth only to be interrupted.

"Abbie. Definitely Abbie. Then Olivia, close behind.." her voice tapered a little, quieting but deepening, "… very close behind." Faith's eye-brows decided that vacationing on her forehead just wasn't enough anymore and were now trying to make a permanent move to her hairline. There was no mistaking that tone…

"Olivia's definitely great but… Abbie Carmichael is definitely on top. But, they're so close… there's little space between them…" she said, looking sideways at the slightly younger woman, her eyes dark and grin crooked. Faith gulped.

"This more of that subtext you were talking about before?" Faith asked, surprised at the tone of her own voice, how graveled it had become. Buffy's grinned deepened.

"Something like that." She muttered.

"Meaning?" Faith prodded. The tension broke as Buffy blushed so deeply it looked almost painful. Grabbing a throw-pillow, she held it to her face and groaned into it as she mumbled something incoherent. "Uhhh, what was that?" Faith asked, trying not to laugh.

"Fanfiction." She mumbled out the side of her mouth. Fan-what!

"Uh, come again blondie?" Buffy heaved a sigh as she threw her head back against the back of the couch and slammed the pillow into her lap.

"Alright, but if Willow finds out about this she'll kill me." She said, turning her head to the side to look at Faith, her expression a cute mixture of amusement and hesitation.

"I can keep a secret when properly motivated." Faith drawled, lightly flirting. Buffy sat up and cleared her throat as she thought of how to relay this story.

"Okay, so, last Christmas, I got wind of the fact that Kennedy was gonna give Willow a TiVo, and I thought she'd hook it up to the main-station out here, so I could secretly program it to record a few of my shows and she'd not notice… or not care. I didn't know that Kennedy was getting it for her because she knew Willow was treating herself to her own private TV and cable-line in their room."

Faith nodded, indicating for her to continue. She tried to make it look like she was just trying to get more comfortable, sitting Indian-style on the couch, facing the blonde. Not that she was subtly trying to scoot closer to her. It worked; Buffy seemed to notice nothing.

"So I used one of the computers to look up how you program a TiVo's, but then I found out that there's a code and I knew Willow; being the tech-wiz she is; I'd never get through it. So then I thought if I looked up all the things she'd need to know and I asked really nicely, she'd let me program a few things and she could record them onto a DVD for me or something…" she was eventually mumbling, the tired starting to show as she forced her eyes open a bit more.

"So I went to Google my favorite shows so I could look up all the channels I'd need… I figured a mass fan site would have all the times and stations for all the Law & Orders so I could just get them all done at once… and I sort of stumbled onto a fanfiction site…" Buffy looked at Faith intently, looking tired but still fairly nervous. Faith just chuckled, deciding not to say anything so as to get to hear the end of this story.

"So anyways, at first I thought these things were, like, written-versions of episodes that I'd just missed…" she laughed at herself at this. "I had _no_ idea I hadn't seen so many episodes…" she said sarcastically, dripping with self-deprecation. "Well, anyways… I saw this thing that said Abbie-slash-Olivia, thinking '_Wow! An episode that centers around my two favorite characters…_'; little did I know what I was getting myself into until about 25-pages in!" Faith burst out laughing.

"Lemme guess," she ventured, "The slash implied that they would eventually become involved, sexually?" Buffy nodded, blushing again, the pillow returning to cover her face as she moaned… though Faith wasn't sure it was out of shame this time.

"So how was it?" Faith asked, suggestively. Again, at first all she got was a mumbled garble of sounds. "What was that?" she asked playfully.

"It was hot, okay!" she whispered loudly, tone ashamed and angry, though her face was still red and her eyes still dark. "And now I can barely watch these shows without thinking about what I read!"

"You know… if you didn't like it, you didn't have to keep reading it." Buffy glared at her. It read clearly. _I'm not stupid, okay?_

"Faith, I was already kind of invested – I mean I'm not the fastest reader... nor am I the most perceptive person, by far… So by then, I wanted to see how it ended! I mean, it had seemed so natural! I didn't even notice the change until they were almost kissing!... They hadn't changed the characters, just their sexual orientation, I guess. Made my two favorite people in love with each-other and… I dunno. I liked it. It was everything a good story should be."

"Like how?" Faith's voice had softened, touched by Buffy's honesty and opening up to her; though she was sure that if Buffy was fully aware of what she was saying and whom she was saying it to her mouth would lock down tighter than Fort Knox. The blonde seemed to have been genuinely touched by whatever she'd read; Faith just wanted to know what it took.

"They were people I already knew I liked, they didn't change, there was a good case with all the yummy tension and action that any episode would have, and there was romantic tension; but this time instead of Olivia and Elliot, it was between her and Abbie Carmichael who was handling the case after coming back from DC…" Faith knew little about the shows except for the ones she'd watched flying to and from Boston and Cleveland and New York on **_JetBlue_** but didn't feel like stopping the girl now.

_Okay_, Faith thought, _she likes intrigue and romance; no shock there. She likes tension… that would imply hard-to-get… flirting… beating around the bush… but she did also say that the story had been_ 'hot'; _so that would imply resolution and satisfaction at the end, right? Buffy and I have been flirting for years… could I have waited too long? Do I still have a chance?_

"I just… I dunno. I read it a few times, you know?" she said, looking at Faith as though she'd have the answer to a question she had not yet asked. "After a few days of avoiding the internet like a bad one-night-stand, I finally gave in. I went looking for more, and I actually found a couple." She sounded almost sad about it. Faith placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, chuckling.

"Sounds like you should go to an 'L. A.' meeting." Faith joked, "I can see it now," she did her best Buffy impersonation "Hi, my name's Buffy, and I'm a Lesbian-fanfiction-addict, and were it not by the grace of god I wouldn't be here today…" When she looked back at the blonde it was to see a serious face, looking annoyed. _Uh oh,_ Faith thought, already feeling reprimanded, _maybe this is all still a little too fresh to joke about yet…_

"That better not be self-mocking." She said, tone deadly serious, placing her own palm over Faith's hand on her shoulder as the brunette sighed angrily, looking away.

"Look, B – " she never got to finish.

"Faith." she interrupted, "Listen, what you did - - that took more courage than I could ever claim to have." She gently squeezed the fingers in her small hand reassuringly, "You saw that you were headed into trouble, that you were going to have a problem if you didn't head it off; and that's exactly what you did. You didn't let yourself go to that place; you knew the danger your were in, and got out. You knew how much you were hurting the people around you, who cared for you, us – your family – and you stopped."

She smiled, like Faith had never seen before. It was not great glowing radiance, but it was almost painfully honest, and it was directed unquestionably at her. It was honor; proud. Buffy was proud of her.

"Cold turkey." Like the last nail in the coffin of her heart, those words slammed home, and Faith knew; she would never really lose Buffy. Buffy wouldn't let her off that easy. Buffy had opened that window of opportunity just a crack; she was giving Faith an opening. It was perfect, late at night, sitting, talking, holding her hand and trading secrets and discussing how much they meant to one another. The moment was ideal, and Buffy knew it; she'd set the pace, now all the brunette had to do was take the next step. It was her turn.

"Not cold turkey." She muttered, pulling her hand back from the blonde, scooting away. She was angry.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked gently, scooting close again, obviously wanting to comfort the other girl in her sudden distress.

"I white chipped." She muttered, "Remember?" Buffy nodded, remembering. "Nearly died, ended up in the hospital."

"Nothing to lose but their chains" Buffy muttered, placing a hand on the other woman's knee. Faith had no idea what that meant, or even what she said really – Buffy's hand was on her knee! "Faith, you hit bottom that night. Okay, so it took a pretty big fall for you to see how much you had to lose. How much you'd gained with us, and how much it meant to you. Besides; how long has it been?" Faith shrugged, pretending she didn't know.

"I dunno. Got my gold a while back." She muttered, referring to her two-year sobriety chip. Two years. More than, actually. Two years and three months. 821 days. She still wished they gave out tokens, but she doubted there are enough colors to create a 19,704-hour chip. But she still carried that little white, 24-hour chip with her everywhere. Never left her pocket, and if it wasn't on her it was by her night-stand while she slept.

"Exactly. You got past the forgiveness step nearly a year ago, Faith… Passed all twelve, if memory serves." She joked, kindly.

"More tests than I passed in my entire school career, I think." She joked back. Buffy moved until she was sitting so close she could feel the blonde's breathing down the collar of her shirt when she sighed.

"Faith," she said quietly, almost in her ear, though her eyes were taking in the brunette's face as a whole, "You are a beautiful girl, with so much to offer someone, and so much to lose because you've earned every bit of it the hard way. You're a good person. I forgive you, and I trust you, and I wish you could see all that." Faith didn't say anything. She felt a little queasy. Buffy sitting this close to her and saying all these nice things… Faith was never one to cry, really; she was more the type to start to feel sick when she was nervous. She never actually was - - Cast-Iron-Stomach-LeHane - - but it certainly could make you feel uncomfortable.

"Now prove that I'm right, and never _ever_ tell anyone about my stupid fanfiction-addiction." She said, trying to hold in a chuckle. Faith actually managed a smile, she'd almost forgotten. She nodded. "Okay, I'm going to bed." She leaned forward quickly and kissed Faith's cheek as she pulled herself off the couch. Instantly her hand twitched, wanting to touch the warm mark on her cheek. Everything about it had been chaste; the approach, the delivery, the execution, but prayed to god it wasn't. "Subtext." She muttered, thinking Buffy had gone.

"What?" the blonde asked, poking her head back into the living room. Faith looked back, quickly, then pointed to the screen.

"Olivia and Elliot." She muttered, rubbing her cheek as she turned her eyes back to the unfolding case. "Subtext." Buffy laughed.

"As long as it doesn't become flat-text; that'd take all the fun out of it." Faith smirked.

"Well, not _all_ the fun… I mean; that's the point, right?"

_**The End.**_

VixenRaign


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